Sexuality and our self-perception

I am nearing the end of "Pursuing Sexual Wholeness", a book by Andrew Comiskey, the founder of Desert Stream Ministries, a ministry dedicated to helping men and women come out of homosexuality with its roots in The Vineyard.

Last night as I was reading before bed, I came across this:

Redeemed sexuality gives life; unyielded sexuality constrains it. Sexuality is critical to our personhood and spirituality. Far deeper than mere genital contact, sexuality involves how we perceive ourselves as gender people and the kinds of boundaries we establish in relationships with others. That's why broken sexuality can become such an avenue of spiritual darkness. When the yearning to know and be known becomes empowered by evil, sexuality jumps its track and careens chaotically outside of God's will. The devestation wrought by the sexual failures of key Christian leaders confirms the power of sexuality gone awry; it helps us grasp the truth that UNSUBMITTED sexual brokenness polutes one's whole being and can polute the church as well.

The next paragraph goes on to talk about how the power of Jesus is an inexhaustible source of resurrecting people from the weight of sexual and spiritual brokenness. That's sort of what the entire book is about.

What's your reaction to the above diatribe? How do you see your sexuality affecting the way you see yourself? How have you seen God resurrect your self image through healing sexuality; or, as the case may be, do you believe God can resurrect your self image through healed sexuality?

Let's talk about it.

Flag on the play

God has to save me daily. Sometimes I can get through an attack with the things he has taught me to do through the past, like having an Internet filter or calling a friend. But sometimes he saves me through ways that I don't see coming.

Today, i was beaten. It was as if I had called on option play, but the opponent had sniffed it out. Let's say my receiver downfield was my buddy Ronny the Bruce, who I called to try to take my mind off the temptation. Let's say my pitchman was my internet filter, but it's just so darn easy to turn that thing off.

Yesterday, when I was in Nashville, I received a spam e-mail at my other blog. It was supposedly from a woman I had never met, but she was super hot. I could tell from the convenient photo she sent along with the message. She was a model, and invited me to do a search on this modeling Web site. Oh, and she was looking for a man to date — that bullshit was insulting. Anyway, I got to thinking about that e-mail and how cool it would be to search for her on that Web site to see what I could see. Who knows? Maybe it would get my motor running enough to go venture other places. And my filter would already be down, because I can't get to my other blog at home because it is a "chat" site, and my filter blocks it. (I blog at work, if you must know.)

Well, after calling The Bruce, and after disabling the filter, I went to the other blog only to find that I had deleted the e-mail when I received it. So there was no model to search for, and my bout was over. It was as if I had been stopped on fourth down, only to find a flag on the play. The opponent had been playing with 12 men on the field, and the 10 extra yards not only gave me the first down, but it put me in range for the game-winning field goal.

Today God saved me with setting good habits. Because I deleted the junk when it came in, I was spared later.

Right vs. Wrong and Healthy vs. Unhealthy

Semantics, semantics, semantics. Think they aren't important? As a journalist, I disagree. And semantics are part of the negative stigma that surrounds homosexuality and other sexual issues as well as what drives a lot of guys to it.

We just can't look at sin as a matter of right and wrong anymore. When we say something is wrong, or someone is wrong, a devaluing connotation follows. This goes for all sorts of sin — when we hear we are wrong, we think we have less worth. For some people this leads to dispair, a loss of hope that perpetuates the bad habit.

But if we look at sin as unhealthy, I think that levels the scales. So instead of saying, "Your wrong!" Let's say, "There's a better way." It's a way to give someone hope because you are offering the idea that their life could be better. I don't think that comes across the other way.

You will be healthier, and thus happier, God's way. God's way is designed for our good, not to keep us down. It's authoritive direction, not prohibitive.